The Aftermath of Bullying

I received an email this week from someone responding to my post “How’s the Weather.”  It was an eloquently written email from someone, now an adult, who had been bullied in middle school, and felt the administration’s handling of the situation was misinformed and misguided.  Sadly, the writer identified that administrator as me.  The young man went on to say he understands that we all make mistakes – and that was kind of him to say.   While I was new to administration at the time, if I mishandled the situation, that is no excuse and I realize saying I’m sorry all these years later is not enough. 

Today, this young man is an educator, and I have every confidence that he is a wonderful teacher and mentor to his students.  As I continued in the field of administration, I was passionate about establishing a climate where students felt safe, and I worked tirelessly to develop relationships with the students.  I was touched by a parent who once said entering my middle school was like walking into a “love fest.”  That is, of course, no consolation to this young man who remembers his experience.

If this young man returns to my blog, I hope he will accept my apology.

How's the Weather?

There is no shortage of articles about schools and parenting. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? And everybody has an opinion.  Including me!  An area of particular concern to me is the school environment. 

How’s the weather?  Those are my words for “what is the environment like at your school?” Students, teachers, parents and visitors to the school all breathe the same air.  How would you describe the “weather” at the school you child attends? Here are some questions and things to think about:

When you walk in the building, how does it “feel?” Is the atmosphere inviting? Are the students smiling?  Are the teachers smiling? What tells you that the environment is student centered?

What about “bullying?” As a parent, do you know how the school addresses that issue? Are the adults modeling positive behavior? Do your children know who to go to if there is a bullying issue?  Do they believe action will be taken? Ask your children to describe a “safe” school.

“Character education.” What does that mean at your child’s school? Sometimes schools will say character education is embedded in the curriculum. Dig deeper.  Just as with bullying, are the adults modeling strong character?  What is strong character?  Have that discussion at home.

Is the administrator’s door always open and does he/she make you feel welcome?  Whether it’s your tax dollars at a public school or tuition dollars at a private school - make that connection with the person leading the school.  It’s your right (and obligation as a parent) to communicate with the school administrator.

 The leader of the school creates the “weather.” 

Greetings from Denver!

I haven’t posted in a while.  I’m happy to share the reason – I am now living (already two weeks) in Denver to be closer to family!  This new beginning is still fraught with all the things that one thinks about when starting over.  And it occurred to me, it’s similar to when students change schools, or even if they change the group they hang around with.   Will I find new friends?  Will I fit in?  Long time friend and motivational speaker Ed Gerety (www.edgerety.com) has been an inspiration and support for twenty years.    He reminded me that we draw on our strengths during a move, we tap into our leadership skills, and we need to reach out to others with open an open heart.  I’m in the process of doing those things. I look forward to sharing more from Denver!